Meanwhile in Runeterra before next patch

Try to read till the end [slayer-jinx-wink]

Ahri just exits Riot's office with a sad face

"You look so down, what happened? "Since I am quite popular and Riot has no intention to buff or nerf me, they asked me to be the one to announce the changes to the other champions that will get changed, before I let them pass the gate towards the Fields of Justice. "Oh, I see, don't worry, I'll help you" "You sure you want to do this? It's ok, I don't mind if you don't really want to" "Don't worry, I'll be there by your side" "Thanks, I owe you one" {{Champion:40}} "Don't mention it"

Later at the gate

"I asked you guys here since Riot planned a few changes for your kits, so I will have to add the data on your electronic ID before you can pass and enter the League" {{Champion:40}} "So please stay polite and wait your turn, we will call you in alphabetic order. Ashe, you're first" "Hey girls, what's in store for me? Should I be scared? "Not at all, your E now grants you an assist if you reveal an enemy and they die within 10 seconds of being revealed by you, and a small flash on your HUD for when your Q is fully stacked" "So just minor QoL improvements, I like them, here's my ID" Janna finishes updating Ashe's ID "Here you go, have a nice time out there" "Thanks, you enjoy your time here" "Aurelion Sol, please come forth" "I have little time for pesky things, so please be quick" "Your Q can now be recasted early" "How early?" "From 0.65 to 0.25 lockout" "Wonderful, a buff befitting of someone of my stature" "Indeed, now, can I have your ID please to update it?" "Yes, yes, here it is, am I free to go now?" Janna gives the ID back "Yes you are, and, Jayce, you're up" "Hello, here's my ID, what happened to my kit?" "Just a QoL, your QE combo can now be buffered" Janna gives the ID back "You are free to go now" "Thank you, see you later and have a nice day" "Who's next?" ".......Jinx......." "Buff or nerf? Just to know if I need to hide" "Small buff to Zapper" "That doesn't sound too bad, I think she will take it ju....." "I heard you two talking about Zapper!!! What you do plan to do wit it?" Jinxs points Fishbones at Ahri and Janna "Zapper cast time now scales with attack speed, from 0.6 to 0.4" "Hear that Zapper, they will make you shoot faster, oh how much fun will we have with that" Janna gives Jinx her ID back "Here's your ID, next please, Kalista" "More nerfs? I haven't been doing any stomping in pro play recently, so what's up?" "Don't worry, you're fine, some buffs to your base damage, attack speed, small damage buff to your Q" "What's the catch?" "....Your E now deals only 50% damage to epic monsters and you no longer get bonus damage near your Oathsworn" "Really? Can't I take just the buffs?" "I'm sorry" "Fine, here's my ID" Janna updates it and hands it back "Sorry again, wish you could've had just the buffs, but you know how people feel about you" "I know, I know, don't worry, it's not your fault" "Katarina, you're next" "Me? What do they want with me?" "Nothing much, your E cast time is now all after you teleport, basically meaning you teleport immediately, and you can now buffer your Gunblade after E" Janna hands back the ID "Oh, well, let's see how that goes, thanks" "Good luck. Lee Sin, you're next, we got a small nerf to your R, it no longer stuns, now it's a root" Lee passes by the girls not giving his ID "Was he using headphones?" "Looked like it. Should we go after him?" "Nothing we can do, he passed the gate, and Riot stated that unless they send official members of their team, if someone passes the gate, they're safe" "What can we do to prevent others from passing the gate like that? Ahri gives a phone call "Braum is here" "Can you stay by the gate to prevent people from passive before Janna gives them their ID back?" "Here I go, have no fear" "Thanks. Now, back to work, Nasus, come here, let's give you a small buff, your Q now gives 12 stacks instead of 6" "Hmm...that sounds good, I'm sure I'll have fun in the lower ranks" Janna hands him the ID "Have fun with that. Braum, Nasus is safe, he can pass. Ornn, you're up" Janna hands him a list and his ID "So...?" "You got a lot of changes, so here's a list because I don't want to keep you too long, you can read it when you have time" "Oh, I see, ok, thank you" "Sejuani, I'll give you the list as well" Janna gives Sejuani her ID and a list "Thanks for the notice, good luck ahead" "Shaco, you're up" "No I'm not, there's no buffs for me there, so the joke's on you" Shaco vanishes, then waves from past the gate "WHAT IN THE....I hate my job" "Stay strong, we got just 5 people left" "Thank goodness...Sivir, please come here" "What's the deal?" "Your Q damage is no longer reduced by champions" Janna hands her ID back "Oh, well, that's nice" "Vayne, you're next" "I know what I'm getting so let's cut the pleasantries, here's my ID" Janna gives the ID back to Vayne "Xayah, your root is increased by 0.25" "Sounds good, now if you'll excuse me" Xayah takes her ID from Janna "That was fast, only 2 left, Zed" "Buffs for me?" "Nope, your passive no longer applies to creeps" "I'm not taking that" Zed Shadow swaps passing the gate "You should've called Soraka not Braum" "I guess you're right, I just thought Braum would look more menacing" "Let's just get this over with, Zyra, you're the last" "What am I getting?" "Your QW and EW combos can now be buffered" "Oh, that's good" "And that's all of them, ready to head home?" "This was a stressful day" "Wanna come to my place? I'll give you some stress relieving tea" "Sounds good, let's go"