Boards›General Discussion

Help! Anxiety prevents me from climbing.

Fermi Paradox·9/23/2018, 10:49:36 PM·1 votes·1,206 views

Hey guys. I am having problems climbing and I need your help. But it's not like some others might think. I don't have issues with feeding teammates. I don't blame others for "holding me back" or anything.

I just don't play rankeds at all.

Friends tell me that I can easily climb if I just start playing rankeds. But I...can't. A few seasons ago, when I was still in school, I had a lot of free time. I loved League and I put a lot of time into it. My peak was Plat 3 after ending the previous season in gold 1. I won my provisionals 9/1 and went straight there. That's where the problem began. I duo'd with a friend who played on his smurf and some "friends" started telling me that I "didn't deserve that rank" and I "should have climbed myself". Everytime I failed they would tell me "but you're plat, shouldn't you know better?". That was always supposed to be a joke, but deep inside, it hurt. I stopped playing ranked after that. I only played provisionals and maybe one or two additional games just to get my end-of-season rewards. My rank happened to be gold 2 at that time. I didn't like to play solo but I also felt bad asking someone else to duo with me because of all the "you don't deserve it if you don't do it yourself" talking. Then Season 8 happened. I played my provisionals by myself, failed miserably and ended up silver 1. First time silver after 4 years. That's when my anxiety kicked in. I was convinced it was all my fault. That this was, what I deserved, because this is the result of me playing alone. I lost all motivation to climb and didn't touch ranked for a while. Then a few friends started playing flex queue. I thought "hey, it's a ranked but I can play with friends and have fun. Awesome!" and joined. I ended up in gold 2 and got a huge confidence boost. But there were still people saying "it's just flex. It's easy to get gold there because no one takes it seriously" which made me a bit sceptical. And then I also failed my soloQ games again. Fwoosh, motivation gone. Even my boyfriend jokingly poked me to play rankeds because "it would be super easy for someone like you. See, I win games with Garen jungle in plat. You can do that, too" (which I unironically did while sitting on his lap. Our top lane fed 0/9. It was hilarious because we still did pretty well for that ^^). It still didn't help overcome my anxiety.

I still think it's right that I could maybe climb back to where I were. Altough I don't have as much time as I used to have back then. Although I don't one-trick kata mid lane anymore but switched to adc. But everytime I plan on playing ranked, my anxiety holds me back and tells me "you are not ready. You are not back to the level you had on kat. You're not a good adc".

and then I just end up playing normals with some friends again.

Help.

(I was unsure what category would be fitting, so I just put it in GD)

5 Comments

Darth Karto9/23/2018, 10:58:23 PM1 votes

https://meme.xyz/uploads/posts/t/l-22633-when-someone-says-dont-be-anxious-and-your-anxiety-is-cured.jpg

The Oasis9/23/2018, 11:09:54 PM1 votes

You said you like to play with other people, but do you actually play solo ranked very often? Rule of thumb is that you don't reach the rank you belong until after 200-300 games.

If you're worried about where you belong maybe you should try just making Flex your "with friends" que, and turn Solo/Duo que into your new "default solo". And Blind/Draft pick can be for learning new champs only.

I know you're looking for a confidence boost here, but no one here knows the circumstances of your previous matches or how you play. Maybe you just have shitty friends, or maybe your mmr really was artificially boosted by that smurf you played with.

One more thing. I wouldn't worry about "not being ready for ranked". If you're worse than your current rank you'll tank, if you're better you'll rise. You dont need to be ready for a climb to Diamond or plat, or even silver when you decide to join the fray. I usually think of it more as a benchmark of my skills than a ladder to climb.

Muxxik9/23/2018, 11:34:56 PM1 votes

I've played league since season 1. In season 5 (2014?) I reached my peak of Plat 3. Then for 4ish years, after my laptop broke, I didn't play league at all. Came back this season and had to completely relearn the game. New mastery/rune system, 11 or so new champs, etc.

After getting out of provisionals I placed Silver 3. I figured, since I had reached Plat 3 relatively cleanly years ago after climbing there from Silver, that I would be able to do so easily this season. The thing is this season just isn't like it was 4 or so years ago. It's harder to climb, and it takes a bit of getting used to being able to win consistently. There isn't a tank meta anymore, the new rune system means damage is pretty high, and I mostly play mages.

Since then I've reached Gold 4 and I'm still climbing. The thing is, if I was hard on myself and beat myself up over not being Plat the entire time, I probably wouldn't play ranked either. Rather than playing Solo Queue to grind LP/Ranks, I look at Solo Queue as an opportunity to try and beat players who are trying their hardest. Not always the case, but usually people are trying.

I play the game, analyze my playing during the game, actively try to think about what I should be doing/how I should move around the map, and definitely watch my replays a lot. This turns solo queue into less of an issue of "Aww damn I'm Silver/Gold and lost a bunch of LP" and more into "Cool so here's all the things I learned this game and now I'm actually a better player" whether I won the game or lost.

Maybe the mind set change will help for you, maybe it won't, but that's sorta what works for me. Anxiety about anything isn't easy to deal with, but it could help to just change your goal from "Get a better rank" to "Actually get better".

Lanaya is love9/24/2018, 12:13:06 AM1 votes

It seems you are afraid of failure and you think your "peak" was at Plat 3. The thing is you need to start from where you're now and that will help you become a better player than you were ever before. Failing is the best way to improve. Don't think that because you're in Silver now everything is terrible and you should stop playing the game you love. Instead focus on your game. After the match ends, watch the replay, analyze what you did good and what you could've done better. Also set your bar higher than your previous peak. If you could reach there before, it means you can go higher.