Happy Festivus!

Festivus is tomorrow, so here's a quick reminder of the origins of this secular holiday and how to celebrate it:

Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows opon him, I realized there had to be another way! The doll was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"

How to celebrate Festivus: Instead of a tree, set up an aluminum pole. Do not decorate it (tinsel is too distracting). On the night of Festivus, gather your family and friends for a meatloaf dinner. During dinner comes the tradition of the airing of grievances. Make sure you tell everyone how they disappointed you in the past year. After the grievances comes the feats of strength, which comes in the form of wrestling. Festivus will only end when the head of the household is pinned.