There's a raccoon sitting outside our house's garage, wat do?

vfactor95·8/7/2017, 11:48:30 PM·4 votes·977 views

It's looking kinda sad and is just sitting there on the side, kinda wanna help it but I have a feeling approaching it or trying to feed it would be a bad idea.

Anyone have any experience with this? Never actually seen a raccoon around before so it's definitely not a common thing.

25 Comments

BlueVestGuy8/8/2017, 12:12:45 AM3 votes
ZenithEevee8/7/2017, 11:53:46 PM3 votes

Get on 3 layers of jeans and some muddin-boots, and poke it with a stick.

if it charges, Punt it into oblivion.

if it doesnt move, Poke it till it does.

if it still doesnt move, Assume its dead and bury it.

TheSequelsRBad8/7/2017, 11:52:06 PM2 votes

As a chicken farmer I 100% recommend killing it.

If you don't have chickens, why would you really care one way or the other what it does? It should just go away after a bit, unless you have trash it is after or something.

Besteau8/7/2017, 11:49:30 PM2 votes

Is it blue?

And also don't approach it too close. Be sure to read its body language.

Maybe call animal control to see if its okay. They have the gear to take care of it. Just mention killing it is last option.

420 grams8/7/2017, 11:53:03 PM1 votes

I see raccoons all time near dumpsters. They're just trying to get some food

Player Vehicle8/7/2017, 11:56:56 PM1 votes

give it food and try to tame it. rare pokemon

Honk Cat8/8/2017, 12:01:06 AM1 votes

bout to go absolutely IN

DragonTroopBeta8/8/2017, 12:02:59 AM1 votes
  • Place a piece of meat in an empty coke bottle. make it warm for maximum effect.

  • Leave it outside, away from where you need to walk in and out. Don't go near the raccoon.

  • The raccoon will reach inside the bottle to grab the meat, but it is too stupid and instinctual to let go of the meat to get it's hand out.

  • Wait for animal control.

GlobDaBlob8/8/2017, 12:03:47 AM1 votes

Is the garage door closed? Do you sometimes leave it open for periods of time?

It is possible that it had built a nest in your house. This happened to me a few years back where a racoon went through our garage and into our attic and build a nest. We heard it running around in the walls. We just closed the garage door and kept it shut so it couldn't get back in. We saw it one time running to get into our garage with a dead animal in its mouth.

DariusDemiurge8/8/2017, 12:08:08 AM1 votes

This the only correct course of action.

My dog Toaster was attacked by a raccoon: http://youtu.be/hHN-f6xTzsY

If you don't have stairs leading into the abyss then simply slam it around like hulk did to Loki in the avengers movie.

Incognonymous8/8/2017, 1:06:20 AM1 votes

Harvest its fur and make a hat.

Just don't tell the state. The harvesting of fur bearing animals is gated by a permit.

2nd Chance8/8/2017, 1:08:51 AM1 votes

Real talk

If it's out there moving about in the middle of the day, 9/10 it has rabies and you should kill it ASAP

Sincarnation8/8/2017, 2:20:15 AM1 votes

Meh don't open your garage and wait till morning I'd say, if it's still there call animal control Raccoons aren't dumb animals iirc, if its just chilling there is probably a reason

Audhulma8/8/2017, 2:48:30 AM1 votes

I've had a pet raccoon before.

Do yourself a favor, don't approach it. The little fuckers are very fast, and they can go from calm/friendly to angry/aggressive in the time it takes to blink, so it's really hard to predict what's going to happen with them. If you want to leave some food and water out then go ahead, but don't get close to it to do so. Set the food away from your door (so you don't later open the door to have a wild raccoon staring you in the face, possibly getting into your house), and at a fair distance from the 'coon, and if it wants the food it'll get up and eat it.

It could be sick, or it could just be trying to nap. If you call any form of animal control they're most likely going to kill it, even if they say otherwise. Not very many states do anything but put them down, and the groups that release them into private property to help wild animals like that often require you to capture it yourself and bring it to them - it's pretty uncommon for them to have the time or people to go to your place to catch them, and they'll often want you to donate time or money if you can.

{quoted}

Raccoons aren't dumb animals iirc

Not as dumb as you'd expect actually.

Proxy3458/8/2017, 3:28:13 AM1 votes

Pull out the shotgun and get rid of that damn rodent! Its gonna be digging through your garbage real soon and probably invite some of its friends.

TheRiddum8/7/2017, 11:50:52 PM1 votes

Leave it be, if it scratches/bites you..good chance you are getting some kind of infection. It probably smells food nearby and is figuring out how to get at it/where it is. If you feed it yourself it will probably just keep coming back like a cat...a rabies disease infested cat.

Kuronii Lumiira8/7/2017, 11:51:01 PM1 votes

If it's uncommon to see raccoons and it's acting strange, it may be sick. Rabies is possible. Call animal control and have them take care of it.

Glîtchy8/7/2017, 11:51:23 PM1 votes

There are cage traps you can use, look up "good bait for raccoons" on google and find out what's great to lure them in with, if you can do that much, then you should be able to catch it, then call animal control to take it away.