A Crash Kourse in Language with Kuro

Greetings, Summoners. There's something I want to help you with. Now, this isn't directed at everyone, but only some; You know who you are. You see, lately, I've noticed a serious downturn in grammatical competency. Commas in incorrect places, not using enough semicolons, using outrageously incorrect words in places they simply should not be, and much more. So, first offender.

[Using "of" instead of "have"] This is derived from the mistaken understanding of how contractions work, and is the most offensively used falsity I've seen on the Boards. Now, this comes from people hearing "should've" or "could've" or the like, and thinking that the proper usage is "should of", due to how phonemes work. THIS IS INCORRECT Please remember that words and phonemes are distinct aspects of language and they should not be used interchangeably. The act of doing, or the implied action of doing, be it past; present; or future, is denoted with the word combination "have [verb]", and the proper conjugation of "have". Example: WRONG: I should of typed my paper. RIGHT: I should have asked my professor for a deadline extension.

[Improper usage of commas] Commas serve specific functions within various languages, and English is no different from any other. In English, commas perform a multitude of functions, such as separating two distinct ideas, joining clauses together, or act as separators in lists (like this one). They are not to be used in place of periods, nor are they to be used whensoever you decide. Example: WRONG: I decided, that I should go to the store. While seeming proper, this sentence is grammatically unsound. It serves no function here, and the pause suggested makes the sentence sound choppy. The first part is an independent clause, yes. However, the second part is a fully functional independent clause by itself, and should be its own sentence. In addition, the mistake of separating this sentence into two independent clauses breaks its original meaning. RIGHT: I decided to go to the store, even though I was tired.

[Mistaking possessive words for contractions] I had to make the title of this subsection long because "mistaking 'its' and 'it's'" sounds weird. Nonetheless, here's the lesson: • "Its" is possessive. It denotes possession of a noun, no matter what it is. Keep in mind that a noun is any place, person, thing, or idea. • "It's" is a contraction of "it is", denoting being or existence, or a state. Example 1: WRONG: Its too long for me. RIGHT: It's too long for me.

Example 2: WRONG: It's tail was bent. RIGHT: Its tail was bent.

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That's it for now, guys. Please keep these lessons in mind as you go about the boards, posting whatever memes or vent threads you will.