No...Just...No...

Xion Moonray·11/17/2017, 4:52:09 PM·1 votes·391 views

Hollywood Exec #1: "Hey, I found this script under the couch for a straight-faced serious adaptation of that old game that parodied King Kong and Godzilla." Hollywood Exec #2: "You mean that game that hasn't seen a release for over a decade, was already pretty niche, and nobody in our target demographic has even heard of?" Exec #1: "Yeah, that one. Wanna just phone this in?" Exec #2: "Fuck it. We've still got some Planet of the Apes CGI floating around. We need an action star to sell it, though." Exec #1: "Well, The Rock just wrapped the shitty Jumanji reboot. Let's ask him." Exec #2: "Think he'll go for it?" Rock: "Jabroni, have you seen my resume?"

8 Comments

TheRiddum11/17/2017, 4:59:29 PM1 votes

But did you see the giant wolf?

TwitchInMyPants11/17/2017, 5:01:39 PM1 votes

TBH I kinda wanna see it because it could be in "So bad its good" territory

It's already setting up sad ending where the rock has to kill George which is already really cheesy and predictable, the effects aren't terrible but all of the lines are just raw cheese

Given rampage is literally just a beat em up with giant monsters a hammy kaiju movie with a bunch of cheesy one liners is likely the best you can expect from hollywood, even if its garbage it'll likely do better than 90% of video game movies

ItsMaybelline11/17/2017, 5:01:50 PM1 votes

This looks so stupid... I can't wait to watch it! [slayer-pantheon-popcorn]

RedPannda11/17/2017, 5:29:52 PM1 votes

Haha that looks stupid awesome, the smashing pumpkins song makes it even better. Going to see this day one for sure.

Hypochondria911/17/2017, 5:44:05 PM1 votes

I remember playing Rampage universal tour with my brother. We got to the alien planet where the cities are named after real cities and the game froze. It took us so long to get there I could have smashed my N64.