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Female gamers; Do you feel like male gamers don't take you seriously?

Lightsing·11/26/2018, 10:05:42 PM·2 votes·1,383 views

I dated a guy who plays League of Legends. We both played the game before we knew each other. I recognized he had much more game knowledge than me(since I had only been playing for a year) but I seemed to have better mechanics, maybe that was attributed to the fact that I was an avid rock-climber at the time. He would become very upset if I placed higher than him in ranked or if I just had a good game while he was feeding. He would find ways to undermine my good plays or devalue my efforts. Have any of you had to deal with situations like this? I'm curious because this guy was a huge jerk but there's no way he's the only person treating someone like this. It doesn't matter if you're male or female but I see why it bothered him so much. He probably wanted to feel above me and that's something all sorts of people will try to do to others <Removed by Moderation>. Can anyone relate?

20 Comments

ez mental boom11/26/2018, 10:11:07 PM4 votes

I don't take anyone who labels themselves as a "gamer" seriously

Tying your identity to your hobby is a no from me

ModJikker11/26/2018, 10:12:00 PM2 votes

I wouldn't use the term "emotionally abused" for my experiences at all (I never use that term lightly), but I think we have all experienced at one point or another a person that got mad because we were better than them at something. I know some guys that were "threatened" by my gaming abilities and for a while there my then fiance, now husband, was a little frustrated at how good I was at League compared to him. He got over it when he saw just how terribad I was at some other games and now we have fun helping each other in our areas of expertise.

My sister was actually the one that got more upset when I surpassed her in games. Being the elder, she must've not liked that I could be a higher level in games or play better than she could. Got to the point where she quit games because "I'll never be as good as you" and in order to get her to play with me again I had to dumb down my play.

I am sorry to hear how you were treated. People are jerks and it happens. Best thing to do is move on and don't dwell on it. There are plenty of people out there that don't care if you're good or bad compared to them, but want to just have fun playing the game.

MrFawknSunshine11/26/2018, 10:10:12 PM2 votes

well when it comes to playing this game i really dont know who is male or female unless they flat out say their gender or have a clearly obvious name to hint towards their gender. that being said i dont care either way. you play good you play bad it happens to all of us. i dont think your gender plays an outcome to how good/bad you are at this game.

as far as your bf getting upset cuz you do better then him ,well is that really the kind of guy you want to be with ?

AIQ11/26/2018, 10:58:07 PM2 votes

While this rarely happens to me personally among my friends. I hate account/rank shaming, or devaluing support or tank champions because they have no damage/kills but are 100% the reason a game was won or someone got fed. Or people hyping themselves up. Let others praise you for you it feels much better.

I play with some female gamers and many others that are lower ranked than me. I love it when they do well and ask them if they are Doublelift etc. No one should get upset at someone else doing well or trying to undermine it.

Gets me mad just replying about it lol...

SupaDevilJuice11/26/2018, 11:04:34 PM2 votes

Girl gamers don't exist

Jinxalot11/27/2018, 3:26:04 AM2 votes

I wish there was at least ONE female player on a pro team

KFCeytron11/27/2018, 3:32:21 AM2 votes

{quoted}

<Removed by Moderation>

This is a sexist stereotype, by the way.

Jeddite11/27/2018, 3:35:34 AM2 votes

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog, but somehow everybody can mystically divine your (female) gender.

ChickenWrap11/27/2018, 7:23:19 AM1 votes

I'm not female, however,

One of my exes used to attribute everything that went wrong to me in the games we played together. She didn't play League, but we did play Overwatch and WoW together and she would constantly belittle and undermine me whenever we were playing, saying that I "couldn't play the game" because Junkrat is my favourite character, or that I "didn't understand how to play Rogue" because her friend kept breaking my CC after I called out who I was hitting with what because he thought it was funny. She would constantly compare me to both herself and her best friends (even though I was actually better than them at both games) until I had decided I had enough and played without them and shot up in rank (again, in both games) and left them behind.

Even so, the shit never stopped until we broke up. Some people are just like that. Don't let someone else tear you down and try to take away your happiness like that.

{quoted}

Haha, I live in South Dakota right now

Coming to South Dakota from Manitoba/Saskatchewan is so exciting because I get to see what elevation looks like.

Pixie Storm11/26/2018, 10:27:54 PM1 votes

Well, ok more like when I'm playing support my friends will mention that playfully but I've gone into discord channels full of guys who start to try hard in game, or I hear something like, "the girl is doing better than you" and you know you kind of tilt your head at that point. I don't take offense I laugh it off. The situation gets funnier when I mention not being straight.

Vasaries11/27/2018, 3:42:34 AM1 votes

Hiya, fellow femaleee here.

Yes, I do feel as if our role a female is hard when you think about it in a e-sport mindset. You don't see many professional female gamers.. it's really sad to me. I do have a goal to want to get in to a professional team, but that's too many hours for me to do. Even so, in America, we as women have the right to go on about the careers we choose, but other countries don't allow that.

Cultural beliefs play a huge role, but no one seems to care if I'm a female or not. In fact, I've gotten my friends hooked up into the game because of the few times I pulled off Sona and won.

My boyfriend doesn't like how much hours I put into the game, but recently, I started cutting back, just for him. I'll never stop playing league until I'm able to get to that goal before I turn 20. [slayer-jinx-wink]

ModAttysu The Poro11/27/2018, 3:44:49 AM1 votes

I can't feel like that if I'm bad at video games amirite.

But in all seriousness in Overwatch I get this a lot. I use voice because voice is important in a team game like that, especially as a Mercy who has to constantly call when rez is up or whos in the backline trying to kill me. I've gotten people being toxic to me because I prioritize another healing target first (IE, our barely alive Rein for a Tracer who only is missing like 50 HP, if the rein dies we'll get steamrolled and focused down, but tracer can wait 5 seconds for me to get him half before healing her). Even if I'm carrying as healing or I'm making space as a tank, sometimes people will just shit on you for not playing to their expectations. Just /mute and move on girl.

PS: I don't have many friends IRL who play games with me so unfortunately I can't speak from that POV. I mostly speak from a soloqueuer perspective in games.

Akali is SO HOT11/27/2018, 3:48:53 AM1 votes

I need egirl to carry me to diamond pls

ModEvangele11/27/2018, 4:45:14 AM1 votes

Nami Hey OP,

As a fellow female gamer (fight me nerds), I definitely can understand the plight you have went through. Ive experienced it in the past with ex friendos and the like, but as the industry moves forward and people like us are more prevalent the situation will gradually get better. If people are being jerks about your gender and your skills, they are insecure.

That being said, I would like to let you know that I did edit a small portion of your post out. We do not want to make generalizations about genders no matter how much we may feel they are accurate. Stereotypes and generalizations don't really serve a purpose outside of often causing divisive feelings and driving those who we want to engage with away.