How to play LoL effectively in NA

After playing too many ranked games I finally found out how to play in NA so I decided to make a mini guide

Step 1 - Close your eyes. In 99% of your games you will notice that either your whole team or at least 3 people can't see (Godly I know)

Step 2 - Throw away keyboard. Another very important process because it's apparently useless except for flaming and we don't want that right?

Step 3 - Don't go for objectives Baron, Dragon and Turrets are very scary so you should avoid touching them at all costs and let the enemy have them instead

Step 4 - Always try to 1 V 5 The word "Team" is a lie. If you think this is a team game you were baited into a trap. Going in alone against 5 overfed carries is more effective

Step 5 - Never farm Farming is a waste of time it only gives you gold which allows you to buy items and get stronger (Complete waste never do it)

Step 6 - Blame someone else It's never your fault. If you ever die/fail/suck/derp etc. always blame "insert role here"

Step 7 - Excuses Always have some useless retarded invalid off-topic bull**** arguments to complain about because that's more interesting than getting LP

Step 8 - Victory! If this pops up that means you messed up hard. Here in NA winning is considered an offence and you'll get reported

Pro tips : ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS focus the tankiest and most useless person first. It gives the enemy time to kill you all and win much faster. Never protect your carry. This will result in a victory and we don't want that. Wards. If you buy this that means you have a brain, uninstall. Logic. Don't ever use it or you'll be considered an outlaw