a few things I learned

> I don't know jack shit about league. I used to think I knew almost everything and that it was teammates dragging me down. That death I just gave was because my team didn't back me up. The dragon I started without jungle around and lost, was my junglers fault for not being here. This used to be my mentality o.O I really used to believe everyone better listen to me or else it was gg because my team was bad. It wasn't until silver 2 that I stopped climbing and got frustrated. I kept blaming my team and insisted I was doing everything right. Then one day I just stopped and actually looked closely at my hames. I started questioning every decision I made. First few days I wouldn't say anything. It wasn't working. I was good. But after awhile I thought I must be doing something wrong if I can't point out anything wrong. I tried again and was harsh on muself. And guess what. Most games, I barely had 40 cs by 10 minutes. I kept saying " yeah but my opponent has the same amount" okay? So because my opponent is bad at farming that gives me an excuse to be too? I stopped harassing as much in lane and concentrated only on farming. After a few games I was getting 70-80 cs at 10 minutes. I noticed I also didn't die my usual 3 times in lane. Mid game was easier . I was stronger them my opponent. Was this simply enough? No. I started harassing in lane again . My cs went down by like 15 in average because of harassing, but I got a few kills at times. That kind of makes up for the lost cs. Then after a week the enemy junglers seemed to always camp my lane. I swear to God every damn game I was camped and my useless junglers never ganged once or gave me blue. I went on major tilt again. I felt like I hadn't improved at all. Then I stopped again . This time I focused on not getting ganked. I started buying sightstone just to ward . Things got good again. The asshole still camped my lane but I wouldn't die because I would see it coming. After getting used to it I stopped buying sight stone and got plain wards. I implanted warding into my new farming focus. Not only was I preventing my death ,I was also letting my teammates know where the enemy jungles was. But after awhile It wasn't enough. I would see the ganks coming but I would still die. I'd get tower dived and there was NOTHING. Could do anything about it....or was there. I looked at what was going on carefully. I was getting blown up....why.....how could I avoid it? I shit you not it took me like 2 months to come to the answer.....build....I built the same crap every damn game and it was always full damage. It seemed like a good idea. But I wasn't doing any damage dead anyways. I mixed in 1 or 2 defensive items into every build every game. Usually a 3rd buy. It helped a bit . It wasn't like I wasn't dying anymore , but the defenses were noticeable. Right now I practice builds, warding, ,and farming but I know there is much more I need to work on :) my attitude has improved dramatically and I admit I have lots to learn. I look at each game like I need to do better tha next game. I'm never satisfied with a game. Right now I'm gold 5 but I'm looking forward to climbing higher next season :)