Servers ran by Hamsters

Dear Riot,

I would appreciate if you decided to feed your hamsters at least once a day so they dont die in the early mornings when I try to play my first game of the day. It is very tragic when I log into the game, queue up, get into a nice little ranked game, and then get DC'd, just to find out another one of my teammates is also DC'd, who keeps getting DC'd every 5 seconds. I am writing this because my balls have finally looked back up at me in such convincing agony, asking "Why must you busteth us so massa?" And I feel bad that my balls are being busted by these servers. Your hamsters are running on fumes and its obvious. I would like a fix to this situation as soon as possible before P.E.T.A. gets involved and takes your hamsters on wheels (and ability to run this brain aneurysm inducing game) away from you. It is not fair to throw away LP because there is a starving, overworked hamster on a wheel trying so desperately to keep me connected, just to trip and fade. Please, feed my hamster connector. Please, fix your servers.

Dearly, Concerned LoL Player who cant seem to understand why he was unable to connect to the match this morning when he has never had any connection issues, and who was unable to /remake when his jungler didn't either.

P.S. I'd prefer an earlier surrender time if someone has been DC'd for over a minute, its kind of BS waiting 15 minutes to surrender when you havent had a 5th player since 1:00...

[zombie-brand-mindblown]