Pride cycle and win/loss streaks
Ever since I started playing this game, I had a problem where I would climb some and think all the sudden I'm really good or something. It always seems to happen when i get to a division 1 of a tier. Then what happens as soon as I think I'm good? Well then every mistake in the game is my team's fault and I end up with about 20 net losses where I go through a mixture of denial that I'm playing bad at first, then griefing (like I'm literally so tilted I'm just trolling playing new champs and don't care anymore), then finally reach an elo usually division 5 of a tier where I hit rock bottom.
It's at this point where I start really trying hard again and assume all my teammates are so dumb they can't be blamed for anything. At this point all the sudden I'm self-responsible for everything that goes wrong in the game because I know I'm capable of playing at a much higher level.
Like honestly when I play good I could make you tube highlights of some of my plays at this point. I've played the game with a high amount of dedication for a long time and it shows when I can actually summon some humility to accept that I'm actually not any better than my opponents or enemies. It is just hard to not get cocky and start blaming people playing lux and sona for everything that goes wrong, or lose one game and be like whatever fuck league volibear is a horse shit champion im gonna main nunu now after playing almost nothing but 2 or 3 other champions for 3 seasons.
I feel like I'm probably not alone in being like this, but really I'm just writing this kinda as an acceptance letter to myself that I really am an emotionally unstable shithead who could definitely be a top 5000 rank player on na if i could stop acting like such a fuckwit all the time. I mean I've been really close to it, but I'm just a fucking prideful idiot who blames his team for everything then spams 20 losses in one day and is left in a pile of self-pity with no other option but to blame myself at that point.
Will it ever end though? :/