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I am almost in tears

Paradice·3/6/2020, 8:20:21 AM·1 votes·3,048 views

I feel like I don't do enough and I used to take more chances when I first started.

I have alot of real life stress but because of the way my life is, I really need to have hobbies that help me feel successful and progressive.

In general, I enjoy helping others, but I also like to "pop off" etc. I really get upset when my teammates take advantage of my efforts or go off and try to 1v5 near dragon, kill 2 people but die to the 3rd person, and then tell me to run away because, instead of waiting for 1-2 more teammates, they went in alone since they were fed. They don't really notice that we could have approached things as a team and done better.

My highest rank was silver, I've had 3 accounts over the past 3 years. I am worried that I am either holding back due to my actual life, or that my learned defensiveness has caught up with me taking chances and that I should just uninstall. Other games I play, I easily rank high / I am able to accomplish things and I don't feel like garbage.

I am living with my boyfriend who I met playing this game, we had a ranked match (see history) where after about 10 minutes, the fizz and olaf did whatever they wanted. I was placed in iron this year because I did my ranked provisionals while having a breakdown. I understand that "if I deserve my rank I will get to it" etc, I am just worried that my mindset sucks alot more than I realize. I don't know what to do when people want to roam for kills that aren't safe. I enjoy getting towers and I like to fight when we are ready, not when I "feel like it" - I genuinely don't know if coaching or quitting is better.

My main concern is that I need to either quit this game or change my attitude but I don't know how to do either one. Can someone please provide advice? I have severe PTSD but with anything else I do, I excel. I just love the game, and I am really having a hard time right now.

7 Comments

LanceTheJungler3/6/2020, 8:51:19 AM1 votes

Play clash, play ranked flex 5v5, play normals in a full party. All three of those are superior options compared to the monstrosity that is known as league of legends soloque. League is only a playable fun game when you are in control of as many factors as possible and that starts with your teammates.

Also I should add champion choice likely has a big factor in how you play. I had a similar problem when I was playing mid and I realized, it's because I was playing mages. They simply just do less than melee mid laners, and require you to play extremely safe or just die. Maybe try branching out to some bruisers or assassins.

cathartic3/6/2020, 8:51:56 AM1 votes

Iron's gonna Iron, and bronzes gonna bronze. Not saying you deserve to be there, but when you're playing down that low, you should expect people to not have a clue what's going on, and to do random stuff. So just concentrate on your own game and playing as well as you can, and just accept the maelstrom around you like you accept the weather in real life.

Bulshlaka3/6/2020, 8:55:30 AM1 votes

safe play is not a valid option in this game for long anymore

we are long gone from the days when it was possible to turtle comfortably for 15-20 minutes and to try and fight then

games now end at 20-30 minutes you need to learn to take the risks and to learn to take the risks that are worth taking 60% + success risks are worth taking yes they may fail but chances are in your favor and you should look at taking them

so yeah either uninstall or start playing pyke to get yourself out of your passive mindset

there are plenty of great games out there that can glue you to the screen for weeks you shouldn't feel like it's either league or nothing

dark100dark1003/6/2020, 9:37:26 AM1 votes

This game is highly competitive, and not good for personal satisfaction. You need to understand that there are many other things in the world, which worth more than any lol rank. For example I am doing open source development, and my free time work affects more people than the whole lol community overall. Find something you enjoy, engage with people, and if you do great things you get far more positive feedback than anytime from this game. Dont forget: the world is big, you have a place in there, just find your place, and don't force things.

MrEnds3/6/2020, 1:35:41 PM1 votes

be more confident and make more plays that can change the tide of a game, play to win not to let others win for you, also what caused you to have PTSD or are u just over exaggerating. (i recommend you look up what PTSD is)

FioraWillCarry3/6/2020, 5:35:25 PM1 votes

You sound like you have some serious real life issues to work out. I don't think feeding an addiction to League is going to help matters. League addiction is every bit as bad as a gambling addiction. Instead of gambling away money, you're gambling away huge amounts of time. I myself am beginning to realize this and after 5 years, I'm actually making to concerted effort to play less. Interestingly enough, I find myself being far less frustrated in general. League is a very frustrating game and I'm beginning to realize that this is deliberate.

Gambling hooks people by combining high points of euphoria with high points of frustration. Every time you get fed and destroy everyone, that's the euphoria. That's what we all play for whether we admit this or not. And every time we get some fuckin 0-13 noobshit feeding garbage that's the frustration. Why do you think this game is designed with such insane snowballing mechanics. This is deliberate and it's meant to facilitate certain aspects of games of chance like slot machines and poker. These aspects are what get us addicted. As I've been playing a lot less these days, that's has become quite clear. When you're actively feeding and addiction, your mind comes up with all kinds of excuses to keep playing but when you stop feeding it, you will see it clearly for what it is.

Anyways, I really think you should think deeply about what I said given your very serious real life problems. League is not made for our benefit. It's meant to milk us of money through addiction. I'm no psychologist but given your fragile mental state I really don't think you should be nursing an addiction to this cursed game. Drop it, before it makes things worse. Looking for a hobby to help you through your issues is a very good idea in my opinion but it should not be League for the exact same reason it shouldn't be going to a casino.

If you like strategic games with a lot of depth, I suggest a simple, old classic like Chess. You can find many places to play against other people quite easily online. You can lose 100 games in a row playing chess and not feel a bit of frustration because at least you know you win and lose off your own effort and not because the game is designed to give you losses because some monkey decides to go 0-7 and afk right after.

KFCeytron3/6/2020, 6:50:40 PM1 votes

This game is one of the worst possible hobbies for dealing with real-life stress. If you absolutely must play this game, stick to normals and bots. Spending quality time with your boyfriend is a much better use of your time.