Why does crit give attack speed? Why does it give movement speed? (Crit hit rework idea)

Critical hits should be the exact opposite of what they are. Attacks that lower attack speed, and slow down their user, in exchange for much more powerful shots. It's like a head shot, you should have to stop and take aim, or in this case have your character be delayed a moment in order to do so.

I can understand not wanting to change this I guess, its been that way forever but its undeniable that crits are a bit of a problem. At the very least, make it so they are delayed a bit longer after shooting, if someone is in range of a crit hitter, and stays there, they should die.
But if they get out of range they should be safe for a moment, not get runned down by the super fast ranged champ who has nothing but targeted damage.

Tl:Dr

Cause champs who crit's movement disabled for a moment immediately after critting.