I am fairly inexperienced in rank and don't know whether it is worth getting better.
Hey guys, I wanted to start playing ranked consistently this preseason. The last time I played ranked was many years ago before I quit League and came back again(and those were only placement matches).
I decided not to play again because in my mind, it was a more stressful experience, despite the gameplay being the same. I was wondering what the whole point of playing the game is if all I do is come out 10x more stressed and frustrated(especially at myself). Throughout this time that I did not play ranked, I played very little attention to the meta and to this day I have trouble understanding the implications of certain buffs on items and champions.
I decided to play ranked again to get just a little bit better at the game, at least enough to be able to get to gold. In the 3 games of ranked that I played today, I lost all of them and went 6/10 in the last one after being 4/0 when I went trist against a caitlyn and onl having 106 cs in 30 mins(the lowest I have had in any game this whole year! The other 2 games were very similar to this).
For some reason, every time I play ranked, people are MUCH more aggresive in the laning phase, and playing against a caitlyn that outranges any adc in the laning phase is frustrating. I always find myself having to play safe because the other adc ends up moving forward all of the time and never lets me farm in peace. I seriously wish I could show you guys my games so that you guys can see how it is. In norms, no one plays as aggresively. They just farm and trade blows on occasions. I do play somewhat aggresively, but usually when I am playing Vel'Koz or Ziggs in mid.
Now that I kind of think about it, I am not sure whether I really want to spend so much time in this game. I often feel worn out and even guilty after playing for 2 hours. And I am one of those types of people that goes extra hard on himself when he makes silly mistakes, especially because I have been playing this game since the end of s4(taking a break for all of s6 and most of s7), and I still feel like I don't know what to do during the late game, for example, when my entire team starts spreading out(going into places that have no vision, mind you) and I find myself alone, to scared to split push because I dont know where anybody is, everyone just seems to be going wherever the fuck they want instead of grouping). At most I usually play 3 games in a day since they take up so much time.
I feel like ranked is the only game mode I can play to get better, and I would like to get better because the game becomes more fun when you are playing well. But at the same time, I am not sure if all of the stress that will probably cause me to lash out at myself and others irl and in game will be worth it.