The fear of Dynamic Queue

(English is not my first language, so be merciful.)

Another hour, another DQ thread. So.. quite a lot of people are complaining about this thing, how it's cancerous to the game, unfun to deal with and in some games even unfair, considering that the enemy team gets a 4-man-premade and your own team got a bunch of solo players - in ranked.

Today i want to talk about another issue. I don't know if I'm just a coward or if anybody feels the way I do. Here's the story.

When I started ranked as a newbie two seasons ago, I was so damn scared for a while. Every game I was so worried "Oh my, I hope I won't feed, I don't want to get flamed by my team." or even "Damn, I hope I don't have to play Jungle, I will disappoint them so much.". But I got used to it. I learned that I was not that bad and that it can happen, that my teammates will feed and got flamed and I can be the one who gives some advice or just.. you know.. comfort them. We were all some random dudes and when there was a toxic premade-bot, it wasn't that bad, because I didn't have to deal with them all alone. There were two other strangers in my team who could calm them down a bit or defended me if I did something wrong.

Now.. i can't. Not anymore. The fear of playing ranked came back. It may sound really dramatic, i know. But I can't help myself. There is this constant anxiety, that I will be matched with a premade of 3 or even 4 guys. It doesn't matter whether they are in my own team or in the enemy team. Sometimes it happened in ranked, later in normal draft. I know, not all premades are toxic, but in these games which I had played, I just got the "jackpot". I'm too scared of playing Draft, doesn't matter if ranked or normal. There is this fear I had in my early League days. "Will there be some premades again who just bully and then report me?" .. "Will the enemy team tell me again, that I'm bad and I should kill myself?". It's enough.

Last season I had so much fun, climbing alone most of the time or just having a normal game to improve myself. Sometimes I also played with friends - but guess what? My duo-queue mates are gone. They are done with this game and I can't play with them anymore when I feel uncomfortable going alone. Yes, I'm in a clan, but I can't play ranked with them, they are all Plat+ or worried that I will drag them down as this Bronzie I am now. And the only person who I really play with frequently is mostly playing ARAM.

So.. what are the consequences? I guess as long Dynamic Queue is up i won't climb out of Bronze. I'm just doing ARAM maybe 2 times a week or annoy somebody to play a normal with me on rare occasions, which can be quite frustrating when you got the feeling that the person doesn't really have fun. I used to play almost every day, but these times are gone.

I don't know. Maybe some of you guys are just reading some "boo-hoo" . But i wanted to share my thoughts and ask you - is anybody out there who feels the way I do?

With best regards Nilaan