Stopped getting better, started getting worse.
So for a long time, I would always get mad at an enemy champion for being OP compared to what I had picked, but now I just get mad at myself because I see what I am doing wrong, yet cannot fix anything. I'm afraid to do ranked for I have fed nearly every game (7 wins, 16 losses so far). A few games I won, I also fed but got carried. A long time ago I used to take pride in my ability to get >90% of CS. Now I'm actually impressed if I get at least a single CS. I'm also afraid to leave my tower. I feel as if the enemy jungler is waiting for me to take a step out. And it's my fault. I can't ward properly. I honestly really feel bad for anyone unfortunate enough to get me on their team. In a good half of my games I give first blood to either my opponent laner, of their jungler. Oh, also I often feed bot games, too. I'm serious. The beginner bots literally outplay me. I am not joking. I see a beginner bot as an actual difficult opponent.
So, what do I do from here? Over these past 2 years I've practiced CSing in customs, watched every youtube video in the book, tried about every champion in this game, and I'm starting to dislike this game. Breaks don't work either, about a month ago I took a 3 month break from this game entirely, hoping that would fix that problem (it didn't).