How League of Legends broke me as a player and individual

I've had this thread in mind for quite some time, unsure whether my disdain for the game was the reason for the path I (and others) have taken. To elaborate, I will summarize my League of Legends ranked history from the beginning to now.

Preseason 6 was when I started playing, and about midseason I decided to play only rankeds, which with dedication and the many games I played, maining Yasuo, Skarner and Teemo (I know, I know), I climbed from my initial placement being Silver, to Plat. During this period I have never been hardstuck, never been on a win/losing-streak-deathspiral. I was content with the rank I acquired during my first season as a Top/Jungle player.

I was greatly enjoying the game to the point of playing up to 10 games every day. League was the only game I wanted to play and Diamond the rank I strived to achieve. I was ambitious, determined, a winner. I would annihilate everyone in my path. Don't play Yasuo they say? Yasuo. Yasuo is not a champion for new players? Yasuo. I was so proficient and determined at the champion that I knew every matchup, knew how to defeat every Riven player on this damn ladder. (This used to be a skill matchup)

That was, until Riot decided to gradually nerf Yasuo out of Toplane, from changing Trinity's path(Zeal) to changing Yasuo's fluent playstyle in S7 by nerfing E and transferring power into his Q. I was extremely displeased by these changes, because I knew that they weren't right. Every Yasuo player knew. The problematic aspects of his kit were Q allowing an experienced player to win otherwise difficult melee matchups, and Windwall - the bane of ADCs and mages. Yasuo was wrongfully addressed and because of it, the same issues of Yasuo are present to this day.

As a result, I(late S6, pre7) decided to play a new lane, one that was closest to Toplane, and with Mid as my new role, I ought to play the next edgiest, mechanically intense champion on the list. Annie... I'm kidding, it's Zed.

I was having a blast even though I was awful at Zed, I enjoyed the learning curve as I have with Yasuo. What would stop me from acquiring proficiency once again, but on a different champion? Nothing, so I thought. Midseason 7 was when I considered myself a worthy Zed player, I had surpassed 150k mastery practising primarily Zed in my ranked games. You read right, I had achieved ~150 ranked games on Zed with a winrate close to 45%. I was not discouraged (yet), as it is an expected sacrifice of learning Zed (I hate normals). These fools, I thought, these foolish Orianna players, foolish botlaners. I would get my revenge now that I have died a thousand deads on this champion. I will reap their flesh and shadows, I will finally climb back up.

That was, until Riot decided bot lane required a higher power budget, required the aid of Ardent Censer and the cleansing of the dreadful system named autofill, - by shifting power from nowhere to the support class. People would play support, and Reddit would not be complaining about autofill. We, Riot Games, solved everything.

Arguably they did solve this issue, but for me it was hell. The torment I choose to endure during mid-late season 7 playing Zed in a meta dominated by enchanter supports and adcarries running rampant on shields and healing. It is beyond words to describe the magnitude of tilt I, an unfortunate, still somewhat determined soul had to experience.

The logical course of action would be to abandon Zed, abandon playing assassins altogether in favor of control mages. But believe me when I say that, there was nothing I desired more than the killing of botlaners. I would flash ult ignite even for supports if they dared to poke me, even if I knew it would mean the death of me, I would take this smug support with me, tear it to shreds as my team flames me for an inconsiderate play. The occasional satisfaction of killing was enough for me to keep playing Zed. I was an assassin for reason, no, a killer.

I was a shadow of my former self, shaped by tilt and the hatred for balance. Not balance in its literal sense, but the game balance and paths Riot had taken this game.

I did achieve Platinum at the beginning of season 7, however ever since mid season 7, until now, I have been hardstuck in low Gold for the reasons aforementioned. Stopwatch was merely the final straw, - and even now that it is gone, the game is still equally frustrating for me to play, be it top or midlane.

Every time I relive the fraction of determination still within me, I play myself into a winstreak quickly followed by a losingstreak. Every time I play to the peak of my ability, a surge of my former competitiveness, I am downed by games that cannot be won, games that were seemingly scripted and predetermined to send me back. Something I had never experienced during season 6.

League of Legends has taken my mind and mentality, my determination and with it, the desire to climb. It is time to leave, but I know I'm too weak, know I cannot uninstall until I am only a shell of hatred, deprived and escapen by all my pride and determination. Soon it will all end. This is my story.