Can you fight MMR?
I ended last season in silver 3, this season I was placed in bronze 4 with 7/3. Np, got back to silver in a jiffy and then the real struggle started. I spent maybe 5 months in silver 5, I got to promo in every single sitting only to loose 2 games and then win till I get to promo again, just to loose it. My job allows me to play 2-3 times a week, I squeeze in some 3-4 games, rarely more. To understand my frustration imagine playing every day, reaching promo and loosing it for 5 months straight! Few times, 3 tops I managed to win the promo only to loose till I got demoted. I was getting more LP than loosing so I kept myself at 50-51% win rate. All that time those unofficial MMR measuring sites told me my MMR was still bronze.
At one point I started getting less LP so basically it took me 3 games to get to promo and 2 games to fail it so I started accumulating a better win rate. Then BAM, I won some games, I lost some but I started winning my promos! In less than a month I got from silver 5 to silver 1, had maybe 60 wins over losses and reached 55% win rate in almost 500 games. Needless to say, gold was within my reach and I felt on top of the world. Haven't won a game since. At the begging there were the flamers, trolls and leavers but at least I kept my KDA gorgeous as ever so that kept me going for a time. Then came those 2-3 weeks when every single game was a one sided stomp, at the begging I participated in all of our 3 kills till I didn't. That period tilted me so bad that I became as bad as the teams were. Don't get me wrong, I didn't loose game after game but even the games I won felt like losses, I felt like I made zero difference in the outcome of the game. I dropped from silver 1 to silver 4 and down to almost 50% win rate again and now I'm fully aware I'm not reaching gold this season.
This period affected me quite badly, I just got bad at this game. Till 2 months ago I got added by at least one person in every singe game I played, I could even be picky and accept only those I really clicked with so I ended with 20+ people I could duo with. Still I duo'd in maybe 20% of my games, nasty schedule, felt like playing alone etc... With some I lost touch, some kept climbing but still held my hand when I asked them to (mercy duo, there there) and atm even my most faithful duo buddy finds excuses why he can't play. I simply got bad at this game. Even when I do good I'm oblivious to it, once I filled as my worst role (jungle) and ended with a bad score but got complimented by 9 people, apparently my decisions won the game. I thought they were mocking me. Last ranked game I played, top lost his early and decided to troll in his promo(!) so I basically went on autopilot, literally felt that my eyes glazed out and I didn't make plays but reacted, ended with worse score than the support. When top came to his senses we won and people called for my honor? Apparently I was the one that kept the spirit up and the game going till we evened out... I was pretty far from my shiny happy self and still convinced I performed abysmally and I was never the one to misread score as skill in the past.
And why I'm blaming the MMR based matchmaking for all this? Last season while I was still stuck in bronze I kinda got fed up and blamed my bad placement on last seasons mistakes so I went to play on an old unranked account. Placed in mid silver, gold in no time and all that before I could leave bronze on my main. This season that account is plat and only thanks to the favorable first-time-ranked-player placement. When I started playing ranked on this account I was new and bad, 2 seasons later I'm still paying for those mistakes, I get placed way lower than I used to be, it takes me some games to climb back up and countless more games to climb on. When you have to play 300 games to climb 1 division, 100 more to climb 3 and round up at 500+ ranked games in a season the MMR based matchmaking catches up to you. As I already said- I have a plat account so no, silver 1 is not too hard for me. The matchmaking is too hard for me, since I reached 55% win rate in gazillion games I'm matched with people I'm supposed to carry, I have to pick up the slack for 4 other people and for some time I could, not so much anymore. Now I'm the liability, ticking time bomb, it's a matter of time before I do that one deciding mistake. I'm the one that needs to be carried (and maining mid and adc doesn't help in this juggernaut era either) and I keep being matched with people just like me. Vicious cycle and I see no way out. Should I keep playing and hope I will be able to win some and get my spirit back up when my MMR shifts again? Should i stop playing so that I don't bury myself deeper and pay for that next season again?
