I'm perfectly fine seeing a jungler not assist in that, but that's only if a jungler is prioritizing right. If I have a yi that's just powerfarming and we know he's going for completed item powerspike, yeah cool let's hold out. If I have a jungler that's going to counterjungle or gank a different lane that's in a good position, excellent. And if i was going for a risky play and happened to get fucked, i'll prolly be mad but more at my misplay than not getting help.
If you see your toplaner has tp but there's has ignite, 100% should be your first priority to either get them to blow ignite on a feint all-in, or just straight up get them killed so your laner can back and tp while you get a plating
The problem arises when you have a gank jungler (see shaco/j4/lee and crew) who is farming wolves despite seeing a jungler sitting in that bush for 30 seconds, and makes no attempts to get something out of it. Go for a countergank, go for a different gank, steal enemy jungle camps, try to catch him out when he leaves, roam to take plating with a laner that already shoved out, hell even communicate that you'll swing by when there's a better option than forcing a probably losing 2v2 at this point. There isn't a ping for every situation, but if I see something happening I'll usually drop a danger ping, as well as an on the way ping to where I'm going to give a quick little info on why i'm not there.
But if i'm getting the 4th gank from a lee sin at top and it's minute 6, and I haven't seen your ass anywhere near top and I don't see a lane equally snowballed or an objective secured, it's gonna get pretty salty. And I'm aware of games where every lane loses, but that's what the champ select is for. If you know you're gonna need help against your laner, say something and make the jungler aware to make an early gank priority. Likewise, don't shove like an asshole expecting your jungler to dive for you at level 3.
There's a lot of give and take with jungling, but as someone who jungles a whole hell of a lot, toplane generally should be a priority for a first gank, just because if you can get your toplaner a fb+plating or deny 1-2 waves xp from the enemy, most toplaners at this point can 1v2 effectively even out of position, allowing you more time to work on bot or mid, preferably bot for drag priority on top of midlane being the easiest to gank with 4-6 different approaches depending on personal preference