Is this a normal desire?
I want to be bronze. I want to fall to the lowest depths of elo and stay there and play absolutely anything and everything I can regardless of whether or not it works just for laughs. I can't keep trying to improve in this game because eventually I'll fall back into bad habits or get frustrated with the game and its players and tilt. Any time I try to one trick or play meta or do whatever is suggested that'll supposedly help me become better at the game I just hit a point where it stops being fun and becomes a mindless chore despite the fact that I know what lies in the elo above me isn't much of an improvement (and in some cases the matches just look worse).
So I'd rather sink to the bottom where the meta doesn't exist in any form, where I can /fullmute all simply because no one there actually makes good calls in the first place, and where I don't have to worry about honor and reports because everyone's so tilted they're not worth either.
But I don't feel like that should be happening.