Noob jungler no. 2

So I’ve been spamming jungle to learn it for the past week from the moment I wake up till I sleep (that is all I do because I try to get better).Although I try really hard,I don’t seem to improving any further.Today I died from a grump after one week of not dying in jungle as I did on my first 3-4 games.I look map all the time but I am never better or equal than/to my enemy jungler,they easily 1v1 me,all their team is in my jg etc,I haven’t gotten ALMOST any drakes today,I haven’t been able to survived even though I try to play safe and it is a nightmare.I lost a game again because I am noob in jungle and I started crying because even though I spend all of my summer break days to learn jungle,I suck and the enemy is always better than me.They farm good and also gank but I cannot do both.I try to farm,team flames,I try to gank,I lose farm.Is there any farming-ganking order (1 monster-1 gank)?.For the last few games I am 3 levels lower than my enemy jungle and even more than my team.I don’t know what to do and I think I will give up jungle ,it is the only role I cannot play no matter what and I know it is a hard role and that it takes time but honestly,I have given it a good amount of 10 days all the time and I still suck (even though it needs more time),when people who just started jungle or have played a few games are better.Idk why I just can’t .I suck,it makes me sad,it makes me feel useless.The only junglers I like are camille and kindred ,other junglers seem boring and less Interesting...The only reason I thought jg is a good idea was for autofills in ranked and because I suck at last hitting minions in lane and even people on level 30 can farm better than me.I am lost.