I love toplane

It doesn't matter how hard I feed or feast, and I can bring any champion I desire to lane, because in the end, 90% of games are decided by either botlane.

Unless I play a tank and absolutely annihilate every toplaner in the game while dominating at every other stage of the game and serving my adc as a meat shield until the opposing adc decides to click on me at which point I will take so much damage that my champion implodes into a void fissure, eradicating my existence.