A song to game balance and other fun things.

Me: The new season is upon us and I hope balance is well.
Riot: Buckle in dear player you're in for some hell.

Me: Are turrets getting stronger, that's what we'd all like to see.
** Riot: Nah, but tanks can hit them all for max percent HP!**

Me: Are bruisers getting buffed so their damage will no longer be fetter?
Riot: Nah, but tanks will do all their jobs just 1000 times better!

Me: Is the game gonna be less snowbally? IT'S THE WORST I'VE EVER SEEN!
Riot: So sorry about that, but now you can surrender at 15.

Me: Can the newplayer experience be bettered at all?
Riot: What are you talking about look at them! They're all having a ball!

Me: When will we see URF, or One For All again?
Riot: Ascension you said? Here it is my friend!

Me: There's so many problems I don't know where to begin. ** Riot: Everything's gonna be okay, wanna buy a skin?**

Riot: You sound really upset, is there a particular reason? **
Me: sigh I guess fucking not, Let's try again next season. ** Riot: What's wrong dear buddy? You look like a plant about to wilt. Me: This new season is going to be crappy just one giant tilt.

Riot: But games are now faster! You can play alot more! Me: Every game feels more painful than slamming my dick in a door.

Me: Why did you make Blue essence when IP was just fine? Riot: But isn't a game more fun when it's just a massive grind?

Riot: We always listen to our players, So why give us all the blame? Me: You rarely ever listen to us, almost as rare as late game.

Me: Look your game is good and I'm not going anywhere because of my friends. Riot: Sooooooooo does that mean you're interested in buying some skins?

Me:FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

And before I get told this is being moved to another section this has everything to do with gameplay.