I have been in Silver ever since Season 2
I have tried every season to get to Gold. Just Gold. That's all I want. Just Gold V on my own merit. I know I'm still trash and I'll pretty much never be good, but that's all I want.
I can't do it.
So, I'm kinda unsure of what to do. I don't know how I'm going to get there because I literally don't see my opponents making any mistakes.
I know they do, and people tell me that we all play like potatoes, and people point out stuff that I could be doing, but at the same time, I just don't see it.
For instance, last game, I got camped really really really hard by a Lee Sin. Even if I were to ward up and play super safe, he could still dive and kick me out of my turret, no matter what I do.
And there are so many questions that I have about this game that don't make any sense. For example,
If I'm behind and I have to give up CS, how do I farm under turret without dying? My enemy laner will just harrass me any time I go for any sort of cs at all, and I can't just let all the cs go because then I'll be completely useless, no kills, no farm. So what do I do? How do I ensure that I don't die/take too much damage but not fall completely behind in lane due to crappy farm?
How do I keep my laner from getting cs without losing my own cs? Every time I harass a laner down to kill pressure, I know that I need to pressure them and force them to either back or play as safe as possible, but when I do that, I lose farm, and I end up being both vulnerable to a gank AND not farming, so I'm just basically doing nothing in my lane anyway. How do I balance this?
I've had a lot of practice, and I'm still no good at this game. I seriously think there is something that I'm missing.
This has been more of a rant and vent than anything else. I'm just so demoralized and sick of being Silver for 5 seasons in a row now, and there's no way I will ever hit Gold at this point. I'm just not good enough, and I never will be.
Thanks for reading.
EDIT: I was Gold in Season 5 because my brother played on my account. I didn't actually play that season at all. He was using my account to test builds and to try out new champions, but I never played on my account.