pre season struggle

I feel like every game i play, whether its ranked or regular, its always so one sided. The enemy team is either incredibly op and kills us, ff at 20. or our team dominates. also my teammates i am pared with seem like they r half my skill and i get stuck with all the feeders every single game and they r nowhere near my skill level. Idk if this is a pre season problem but if no change comes out, I'm not gonna get better and am quitting league. I play league every single day and my parents and teachers hate me for it but i do it anyway, but what is the reward? to be better than ppl and ur friends? if the game is not fair, then how am i ever gonna be better? How am i ever gonna beat my friends and other ppl in the game? This game literally sucks rn. i waste my time every single day, even play instead of doing school stuff just to be disapointed when i put my hand on my mouse to click play.. This one sided bs makes me angry, furius and often makes me rage. DO u want ur players to rage? cus i feel bad that my friends and family have to deal with me, i am stressed tryign to deal with this bad version of league that once was fun. i am always angry and grouchy to my parents after games that r horrible. League changed me. I went up to my dad and cursed at him cus he tried to talk when i was in ranked. I took a break to eat and realized how horrible i was being. why am i playing a game that makes me a horrible person. That stresses me. I literally have been playing every single day for 6 months stealth and am not challenger!wtf! XD I'm literally in low silver because i try to carry every game going like 9/3/4 but my team buts up scores like 1/9/1. THE reason i play this game is because i love it. The minute i skipped the tutorial and played bots i was engaged. i played my heart out, following my friends and making competitions on who could get to lvl 3o first or who has the highest rank. IM in elo hell bitch! and its not fair that I'm wasting my time for riot to put out a horribly executed game. u may think why i play such a bad game. and its cus league us a drug. IF i played cod or any other game as much as i play league. I could be the faker form of every game. ic ould be great. but i choose to struggle through league. I cry myself to league thinking of how i am so bad, even tho i constantly play. i literally get reported for for no reason. IF somone does rally bad and flames, they just report everyone for no reason. trust me ik. i fed one game and reported everyone on my team even my best friends. I REPORTED MY BEST FRIENDS CUS I WAS SALTY AND RAGING THAT I DID BAD. League changed, league changed me, and it also changed us players. The game we once loved is still loved, but its loved on the black side of our hearts. THE black side that yells curses at ur innocent dad and mom. THE one that throws lamps on the ground when raging u lost for no reason. THE black side that makes me write all of this on a damn forum. League changed, my friends changed, i changed. League is no longer about fun, its about winning and constantly playing. I changed. And i never wanted to change.