League of Changes

This is how would look like if player just came back to LoL:

I didn't play league for a year and now i'm back. Well i wanna play Kassadin, i'll start flask and 3 pots and i'll wait for 4th... wait wtf, where is flask. Wtf is this item? Wat i can't buy potions? Only 3 charges? What da HELL? No mana potions? HP potions 50 gold!!??? Why is everyone tping on minion when tower is still up? Why zhonyas gives only 70 AP? Why sheen doesn't give AP? Why lich bane gives CDR? i bought CDR blues and now all AP items are giving me CDR? Why this new champ Ekko has heal on ultimate if he is mobile assassin? Why the hell is he building tank? Why is everyone spamming Brand and Veigar in solo, i mean dynamic queue and 90% of these people never played these champs before 6.9 ?