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So I have a question, and in need of some advice

FaildotEXE·4/12/2016, 1:06:19 AM·3 votes·493 views

Should someone with depression, like me for example, keep playing League of Legends. I mean, I'm trying my hardest to do my best in the game, but more often then not I've felt so useless in the team that when I look at my scores compared to theirs it just makes me feel even worse then I did when I started the game. I know I need to focus on getting better, getting better at last hitting, warding, trading, everything really. And Im trying my best to do so. But even trying my best I find myself losing over and over and over again. Then comes some people who carry me to victory. Even then the scores tell me how useless I was. That if I wasn't part of the team or there, they would have still won.

But, this just dawned on me how useless I can really feel and it's brought me down so hard that I was thinking of suicide again. I haven't thought this way in a long time, but these feelings came up in my last match when I was in the Top Lane against an Udyr who rushed a ZZ rot portal. And there was nothing I could do to stop the tower pushing, or falling. I couldn't go find the portal cause he'd defend it with his life. And when I'd try to get away he'd just stun lock me left and right until I was near dead or past my turret to which he'd just tear it down.

I guess that's a viable strategy, but I just felt so utterly useless. Like I was a fly buzzing near him and he had to swat me down a few times. Which is why I'm asking the community if I should just stop playing until I get my depression worked out and see a doctor. One part of me doesn't want to, because I love this game. I love the different champions. I love the ways you can work a team composition out. Sure it has it's flaws, so do many game's. But this one is one I've always come back to when I got bored of all the other games I play. I just don't know what I should do at this point. Keep trying to play and get better, find friends to play with who will help me stay cheerful while playing even while we can't fight back, or just uninstall the game for good and come back in maybe a year or two.

I just don't know anymore. That's simply why I'm asking. I haven't been this affected by it before. And if it's getting to this point, then I'm afraid of what will end up doing to me if my losing streak goes on further and further no matter how hard I'm trying.

But, in the end I know this game and community are full of trolls and people who survive solely to make the game as unfriendly and nerve racking as possible. Players that abuse Tank Ekko, players that abuse mechanics left and right because hey, Free ELO. And so on. I try to play to have fun, I try to play to forget about why I'm depressed in the first place. I play because I want to make friends. I want to find players who will join a party with me, joke around, and have fun trying things out. But it never happens. Sure, I can have one fun match in a while, but when those people I had fun with don't accept my friend request, or they just never want to join up or chat with me afterwards its like...why should I bother anymore?

1 Comments

Mat7itan4/12/2016, 1:18:02 AM3 votes

If a game is making you feel bad about yourself odds are you shouldn't play it whether you have depression or not. That being said games, especially games you can play with your friends, can also help with depression. If you don't like playing the game stop playing it, but if you do find friends to play who you know won't care how you play. If you play well they are there to cheer you on and support you. If you play poorly who cares your just hanging out and having fun.

If you like playing league, but don't have any friends who play come to the boards and ask if anyone wants to play. Give a little bit of information about yourself (general stuff you would say when meeting a stranger, no personal information remember these are strangers xD), and then let them know you're looking for friendly people to play with. You're not looking to win, but just to have a good time.

(You do talk about this in your post but I want to say it anyway) I do have to warn you though. While there are nice and friendly people on here there are just as many assholes. I don't know if their parents treated them poorly or what but there are a lot of people on here who get off on being horrible people and treating everyone like shit. If you make posts looking for people to play (hell I wouldn't be surprised if some asshole commented on this) just know that it is likely some asshole will post harassing you. If this happens simply ignore them. Don't reply to them, don't interact with them in any way (if you can delete comments, I've never tried it so I don't know if you can) do that. These people don't matter because they don't know you on a personal level. Keep in mind you may think your life sucks because of depression, but how terrible must their lives be if they have to resort to treating other people terribly for entertainment?