(Fan Fiction) Poppy's Big Problem

Poppy's Big Problem

Goodbye to this, goodbye to that, Goodbye to the battlefield, Land of the mad.

Another war finished, another battle done, Now Poppy comes for the guilty one.

The one who befouled her face, The one who played the prank, While Poppy was asleep, they Played a trick so rank.

Before the battle, upon her lip they drew An inked mustache... and it was thin, too.

The inking would not wash away, And Poppy, as a result, was having A bad day.

She was being teased and joked at, Poked fun at, Laughed at, She overheard tit-for-tat, A topic upon which they sat.

She was dressed for war, a hammer in hand. The jokes about her inky mustache – no more Could she stand!

When Poppy tracked down the one Who drew on her face, She kicked in the door, Breaking and entering the place.

His name was Braum, a northern Giant man, He had muscles so big, and Poppy The size of his hand.

Upon his lip was a mustache so thick. At his size, Poppy couldn't see how He could pull such a subtle trick.

"You'll pay for this," Poppy growled, Hammer clenched, potent scowl.

She pointed at her inkstache, And she was nearly berserk. Braum saw her and let out a snerk.

"It's not funny!" Poppy yelled as she Leaped at him. Her battle prowess engaged her on A whim.

Around the room they ran, Angry Poppy, laughing Braum, The chase went on till all the Cows came home.

Poppy eventually collapsed to The floor. Her chest was heaving, she didn't Want to chase anymore.

But Braum hadn't even broken A sweat. He crouched down beside Poppy: pet, pet, pet...

Poppy asked,"Why'd you do it? Why'd you vandalize my upper lip?"

"Because you are a worthy foe, And you deserved a mustachio!"

"Wash it off!"

"But the mustache looks good there, eh?!"

"This is a serious offense! I don't Have time to play!"

Won over by Poppy's ire, Braum digressed, How to remove the inkstache, but The information was difficult to digest.

"So to remove this," Poppy recounted, "I have to dance all live-long day, Point my finger, and laugh at Malcolm Graves?"

"And you must tell a funny joke."

"Not even till the end of my days!"

"Then you get to keep the mustache forever!"

"Never!"

Poppy gave up. "I'll do it. I'll dance and point and laugh. But if you fail to deliver, Braum, I'll have the last... er... laugh."

...

So away Poppy went, to embark on A Journey of Misfortune. In the Grand hall, in front of All of you, she danced a fine portion.

Nobody could look away from the Legendary inkstache. Poppy burned with humiliation and Swore, Braum's head she'd smash.

By sundown, Poppy danced all the Live-long day, So now came the time to Hunt down Malcolm Graves.

It didn't take long. The mercenary was at the bar, Enjoying a drink and some song.

Poppy stumbled in, her legs worn out. She met Graves' eyes, 'twas a look she Could do without.

"What?" Graves said. "Can't you see I'm drinkin'?" Poppy took a moment to realize how Stupid the idea – what was she thinkin'?!

But Poppy followed through. For the sake of removing the 'stache, for herself, and you.

Moments slowed, time dragged to a halt, For Poppy was about to anger a man Trying to enjoy his malt.

She gritted her teeth, she pointed at him, And she forced her laughter, and his fierce Eyes pierced the dim.

The music stopped, all patrons stared. If this were a battlefield, Poppy wouldn't Have felt so scared.

Her forced laughter was the only sound This evening. She looked down her arm, her finger, At the man whose night she was upheaving.

"Ah-ha-ha...ha-ha...ha...ah-ha..." Graves was already up, Poking the barrels of his gun in Poppy's open maw.

"Laugh again," he goaded, "give me A reason." The gun in her mouth, Poppy's utterance Was as clear as a rainy season.

Poppy bowed and made a swift departure, Sparing the bar collateral damage From a fight that nearly took place... It would have sullied Poppy's image.

As if it wasn't sullied enough already! She went back to Braum, barely keeping Her temperament steady.

"I did it," Poppy told him with a tight jaw. She waited for Braum to give her the Solution to her inkstache problem, Or she might break the law.

And crack his head.

"It's simple," Braum explained, "Just use herbal soap."

Poppy couldn't believe it. Her Repetoire of solutions were so Narrow in scope.

She'd used cold water, hot water, Magic crystals and steam, But herbal soap? She lacked resources, It seemed.

Away Poppy went, and she washed The inkstache away. It was weeks later when she And Braum were summoned to play.

In the Fields of Justice, the duel began Between Poppy and Braum, yordle and man.

Poppy's size was compact, Braum Couldn't so easily land his hits. Braum was so big, it was difficult For Poppy to miss.

But...

The duel went on for half an hour. In the time which both fighters lost Much of their power.

Exhausted, Braum flopped down first. Then went Poppy, landing on Braum's Back, badly hurt.

"Hey, Braum," Poppy said. "Remember when you drew that Mustache on me while I was Asleep?"

"Eh? Oh! Yes, I remember now!"

Poppy remembered, too. She used The remainder of her strength for the Last ker-pow.

Raising her hammer, Poppy clocked Braum in the back of the head. He went out like a light, But he wasn't dead.

The duel was over, and Poppy lost. During the duel she was knocked out twice, At her temperament's cost.

But at least she gave Braum the Beating he deserved, For playing such a humiliating trick, Leaving Poppy unnerved.

Back in the quarters, Poppy laid down To sleep. The inkstache was gone, but the Humiliation was too deep.

Nobody would ever forget the mustache That once occupied Poppy's lip. It was enough to burden her shoulder With the world's largest chip.

In Poppy's dreams, she tore at the seams, And for all that day had done to her Reputation, she was bound to start hearing Screams.

She would bash the skull of anyone who dared Laugh. Poppy was going to tear the League of Legends In half.

In her own way.