Unofficial short fan-fiction - [Bard] One Winter's Catch

RiotBioluminescence·7/14/2015, 3:53:37 PM·49 votes·16,519 views

##NOTE: THIS IS NOT OFFICIAL LEAGUE CANON! I AM SIMPLY POSTING ONE OF MY OWN FAN-FICTION STORIES ABOUT BARD. I'M NOT EVEN ON THE NARRATIVE TEAM :) I'LL STOP SHOUTING NOW!

http://i.imgur.com/Y8K6fqw.jpg

Soundtrack: http://youtubedoubler.com/eMAT (I recommend turning the volume down on the login screen music.)

#One Winter's Catch

Yes it’s true - my grandmother met the Bard once - when she was long haired and young. It was many years ago and life was terribly hard for our village - and we were sure we would die of a winter that had forgotten how to end.

It was a bitter cold morning - tiny puddles fractured at her step as my grandmother walked to the lake to spend her day fishing. Other food was hard to find and the plants would not wake. The cold bit at her hands, though she wrapped them in wool and she was wearing all of the clothes she owned all at once. Even as she lay in her bed as death called to her, many years later, she said she never wished such a cold on anyone else.

She sculled her coracle to the middle of the lake - where the early mist made it feel like she was alone in a cloud - and settled in with rod and net. After a few peaceful minutes, the cloud parted and she saw another fisherman in a too-small vessel - wrapped as she was against the cold and almost spherical. This was surprising. She did not recognise him, but she called out a greeting and she remembered he returned it kindly.

Suddenly, her lure twitched! Once. Twice. Three times and splash! She hauled a fish into her arms. It was a good fish - a bigger fish than she’d seen recently, with a rainbow flash upon its belly. It was as long as my forearm, and fat as summers-end.

When she was settled again, she looked over at the other fisherman - and he held up a fish even bigger than hers! It was almost as long as my full arm and sparkled in the pale sunlight like stars! She hollered a congratulations - but in her secret heart she was jealous that he’d hooked a bigger fish than she. She decided she’s show him how our village could fish better than that, and settled in for a long day.

And so it was - they sat, alone together, and fished for the day. The timorous sun rose and fell and no fish would show themselves for hours at a time. By even-time, my grandmother tells that she considered giving up - the fish were not showing. She glanced up just in time to see the first star rise when suddenly a stirring! Her lure twitched - once, twice, three times and SPLASH! She pulled a monster of a fish into her tiny boat! So big it was that she almost tipped into the water with it!

Exhausted, she knew that she would have won the envy of the other fisherman - and she would have fed the village for a week! But when she looked over - her fishing companion held upon his lap an even bigger fish. She had heard stories of such a fish - but it almost obscured his whole boat, it was so fat and shiny.

My grandmother, stubborn as all grandmothers eventually are, would not have this! Though the sun was down she called out to the fisherman and challenged him! The next thing they caught, she said, whoever had the biggest catch would be the winner and must claim the other the superior fisher!

Every time she told us this story, his reply was different. Sometimes he said “I accept your challenge, pretty girl!” Other times he said “You are courageous and I will match your skill with honor!” When I asked her about this, as a child, she eventually told me she could never remember the words he used - only that she was sure he was pleased with her challenge and had accepted.

And so they sat - as the sky unfolded its beauty, and the silks of the heavens painted stories in far away tapestries. But as beautiful as the night was - deadly too in that winter. Her toes which had hurt for hours, now burned - a very bad sign, she knew. The mist, their constant companion, started to thin and the lake was so still that she felt like she was falling into the sky on all sides, and the huge, brilliant, moon now looking down upon her twin in the waters.

Suddenly, there was a twitch on her lure. This was it! It twitched once. It twitched twice! Finally it twitched three times! But all that was on the end of her line was a little wooden box, no bigger than your fist. She heard splashing from the other fisherman - and for the first time she saw him struggle with his catch - he pulled and hauled and struggled and fought! She couldn’t see what his catch could be at first, but when she followed the line it was with a gasp that she saw what he was drawing near - the reflection of the very moon itself!

It was impossible! But he pulled and struggled until finally he leaned over the edge and pulled the moon out of the water! It was as big as a large coracle itself and glowed so bright! He picked it up like it was a feather and held it aloft, looking to my grandmother.

And she looked down at the tiny little box. The very moon from the sky compared to a teeny tiny box. He had clearly won. She was about to call her congratulations, when something told her to open the tiny box in her lap.

Do you think she should have opened it?

The little box was old, and wet and had a tiny latch. She held it in one hand, while her wrapped fingers struggled with that latch. It felt warm - but she told herself it was probably the cold sickness settling into her hands.

Finally the latch clicked and she carefully… carefully… creaked the hinge until… SPLASH!

A huge flash of light hit her and she fell out of the coracle! The water would surely kill her, and she thrashed and gasped, even as her eyes struggled to see once more. Her hands made contact with something she hoped was the overturned boat and she pulled herself to the air.

What she saw amazed her. Can you guess? All about her was the singing of birds and the splashing of fish - all in the beautiful daytime! The sun, brighter than she remembered it, filled the world with warmth and love and spring sang all around her. She felt strong hands pull her into a boat, even as she wondered. When she looked up, it was the masked face of the Bard that looked down upon her - and she knew he was pleased. He handed her the empty little wooden box, and daintily stepped upon the edge of the coracle - not tilting it even a little bit. Then he bowed, once, and leapt to the skies above like the sparks above this very campfire.

She would show me the little wooden box now - the box that she told us all had held the sun of spring captive for too long. She’d say that Bard had helped her find it, and save the village from an endless winter. She’d tell us that that year was a bountiful harvest with the best fish and the richest fields. Mostly, though, she’d tell us how she beat Bard in a fishing contest - because surely the only catch greater than the beautiful moon, is the glorious sun.


What did you think? Looking for critique and criticism (I can take it!) Also - did it spur any ideas for other campfire Bard tall-tales? Lastly, a reminder that this is fan-fiction from a player (me) **not **official canon lore from Riot. Just something I did for fun in my spare time Bard

83 Comments

EvilMerodach7/14/2015, 4:08:19 PM8 votes

Diana LIES

Edit: But upvoted all the same.

Good story, feels like maybe it's missing something though. Like, maybe the emotions of the storyteller? (the grand-daughter) Or maybe skip the granddaughter telling the story and have the grandma tell it to the granddaughter (maybe re-tell it? granddaughter chime in cause she already remembers most of it, or maybe granddaughter correcting the grandmother- 'but mamaw, last time you said Bard said ...)

IcyPepper7/14/2015, 8:21:25 PM5 votes
Siachi7/14/2015, 4:34:49 PM5 votes

Speaking as someone who's bad at giving criticism, constructive or otherwise, I liked it.

Bard is definitely the kind of character who'd be right at home in folk tales, especially oral tradition. I know it's not official, but I do like seeing an instance of Bard being more benevolent, rather than "I'm going to take away this artifact, f*ck your problems." Does beg the question of what the extent of Bard's powers are. Maybe the box is one of the artifacts he collected, and he decided it'd be put to good use here?

Only thing is that I was personally unfamiliar with the term 'coracle' (Which is apparently a small, round-ish boat), but doesn't necessarily mean it should be changed, maybe just made clear that it is a type of boat.

Dextix LT7/14/2015, 4:17:08 PM5 votes

Yay! Nice story! May i ask do you have steamy fanfics?

For Carthage7/15/2015, 12:36:41 AM4 votes

... So... like...

You can take the time to write your own fan-fiction on your own bloody game, yet even the top-rated stories by normal players who care about the lore don't even get a gloss-over by Rioters?

I feel oddly unmotivated to really give this much time to read, even if it was any good. Seems spiteful, probably is, but the air of detachment between Rioters and the players is steadily getting thicker.

Hell, volcanoes have less thick of air than here on the boards.

Xonra7/14/2015, 4:50:42 PM4 votes

<_<

_>

You are friggin awesome. Glad you put this up after talking about it the other day.

Would LOVE to see more things like this from people at Riot. Just showing us their passion as fans of the game through stories and art and cosplay and such. It really helps us further connect with you guys on a personal level and not just "you are Riot employees, fix the game" sort of blah blah blah

cHAncEman12927/14/2015, 6:11:16 PM3 votes

This is the best thing to come out of narrative department since the recon. Story aside, I'm really thankful for you to extend this fan-fiction. I believe it provides fodder for the type of discussion that so many people want. I personally want to see more reds post stories! If you're taking suggestions please please please do the day Caleb died from Quinn's lore. She's my favorite character and in my opinion one of the most grounded/ relatable champions.

About this story.

I love the folk element and I love even more you choose to include music, its something like that that shows you took just a little bit more time to set the scene. A particular characterization that I love that you emphasized about Bard is just how goofy funny he is. He has this sprite like grace while being both cosmic and comical in a touching way.

As one who has been eagerly awaiting anything lore-wise that actually has more substance, I REALLY enjoyed this!

ModCaptainMårvelous7/14/2015, 5:13:52 PM3 votes

Time to pick this apart and make a red cry.

JK, it's good. Do you read fan fics and such or do you prefer to write them yourself?

PapaGreg217/14/2015, 6:05:43 PM3 votes

I thought it was great. I'm not a professional writer but I have created a couple novels and read a lot of books on improving your writing so there were a few things I spotted.

Your attention to setting and choice of wording to describe the environment is the strong point in the story. "Timorous sun" was a great choice as well as "leapt to the skies above like the sparks above this very campfire" as it made the environment come alive. I assume Bard was meant to be fairly mysterious as a champion when RIOT created him so I think you upheld that aspect of his persona very well.

The only criticisms I would offer would be when you wrote:

"She did not recognise him, but she called out a greeting and she remembered he returned it kindly."

I felt like saying "she remembered" drew you out of the story and the flow would be improved if you removed those two words. It is also redundant as the story is all based on remembrance. Also, the part where you ask "Can you guess?" takes the reader out of the story and feels as if the writer is talking to the reader directly rather than the grandmother revealing the tale. You also use a lot of exclamation points. I think using less would give them more of an impact.

I would love to read more stories if you post them.

Bhargo7/15/2015, 10:10:40 AM3 votes

Of course you're not on the narrative team...

You are actually posting something.

CupcakeTrap7/15/2015, 10:08:23 PM3 votes

I read this somewhat quickly; I'd like to re-read it more closely later.

{quoted}

we were sure we would die of a winter that had forgotten how to end.

I really like that turn of phrase. I especially like it as a contemplation of elemental magic in a high-magic setting like Runeterra, where the sun is not just a ball of burning hydrogen but also the reflection of an idea. In a way, just like most magic is the manifestation of human thoughts and desires (e.g. "I hate you" becomes a fireball or a Vader-style Force-choke), you can imagine the magic that surrounds Runeterra's sun as a "thought" belonging to the universe. "A winter that had forgotten how to end" plays with this idea in an intriguing way: an aberration in the elements suggests an aberration in the thoughts of the universe.

{quoted}

the plants would not wake.

Same as above. I like the idea of personifying the environment in this way.

If you're looking for critique, though, I did find the descriptions of suffering a bit…tiresome? I'm not quite sure how to put it. It almost felt like you were going straight for a pathos cash-in before building up the stakes. A lesser version of the problem of, "hey, here's a character, and I'll tell you they're sympathetic, then I'll kill them off. Emotional reaction where?" Absent more setup about their hardship, I feel like it would be better to go subtler with the tearjerker aspects. The reader doesn't really know these people yet, and asking for more than a bit of "aw, that's sad" is perhaps a bit too ambitious, IMO. It sort of feels like someone walking up to you, meeting you for the first time, and unloading all their deepest sadness at once. The natural reaction is "whoa, back off, lady, I don't even know you."

{quoted}

She sculled her coracle

Google tells me that a coracle is something you use when traveling across water infested by jabberwockies.

{quoted}

to the middle of the lake - where the early mist made it feel like she was alone in a cloud - and settled in with rod and net. After a few peaceful minutes, the cloud parted and she saw another fisherman in a too-small vessel - wrapped as she was against the cold and almost spherical. This was surprising. She did not recognise him, but she called out a greeting and she remembered he returned it kindly.

I feel awkward saying this, but my eyes just glazed over this section. I feel like this is something I do too often when I write things: I get all half-measure-y and "subtle", when the reader really just wants to know what's going on.

Maybe move the second sentence onward to a new paragraph, for starters? ("settled in with rod and net". Maybe tack on something about waiting a few peaceful minutes, then move to a new paragraph.) Then collapse the rest into something shorter? I'm not clear on why she didn't see him before that moment. Was he doing a reverse Batman?

If so, maybe: "She saw another fisherman in his boat. She wasn't sure why she hadn't noticed him before, as he was within a stone's throw of her coracle. At first, he seemed to be a bearded old man, hunched over and swaddled in so many layers that he was virtually spherical: a big ball of dull gray cloth, adorned with a beard, with a fishing rod sticking out, rocking back and forth in his boat."

{quoted}

Suddenly, her lure twitched! Once. Twice. Three times and splash! She hauled a fish into her arms. It was a good fish - a bigger fish than she’d seen recently, with a rainbow flash upon its belly. It was as long as my forearm, and fat as summers-end.

I feel like the "fat as summers-end" is a bit of a swing-and-a-miss. A little too abstract in this context. But the raw ingredients are there. The part about “a rainbow flash upon its belly” is awesome. Maybe make the summers-end comparison a bigger part of the section? The “rainbow flash” obviously works great there. Then talk about its strength, its vitality, and its “fatness” in summer-y terms. But I would suggest you lead with the part about summers-end, rather than making it a closer. It seems better as a framing statement than as a twist.

{quoted}

When she was settled again, she looked over at the other fisherman - and he held up a fish even bigger than hers! It was almost as long as my full arm and sparkled in the pale sunlight like stars! She hollered a congratulations - but in her secret heart she was jealous that he’d hooked a bigger fish than she. She decided she’s show him how our village could fish better than that, and settled in for a long day.

I’m a little bit :\ about the description of Bard’s fish. Particularly the sparkling like stars in the sunlight part. Maybe a reroll would help?

{quoted}

And so it was - they sat, alone together, and fished for the day. The timorous sun

Yesssssssssssssssssss. I love it.

{quoted}

rose and fell and no fish would show themselves for hours at a time. By even-time, my grandmother tells that she considered giving up - the fish were not showing.

Word choice change? “The fish were not showing” makes me think of people “not showing” for an appointment or event. It feels odd in this context.

{quoted}

She glanced up just in time to see the first star rise when suddenly a stirring!

Do stars rise? This sort of caught me off-guard. Maybe I just haven’t spent enough time fishing in the early morning.

{quoted}

Her lure twitched - once, twice, three times and SPLASH! She pulled a monster of a fish into her tiny boat! So big it was that she almost tipped into the water with it!

I think this needs to impact harder. Like, “She tugged the line, which felt as though it had snagged, and a fish as big as she was shot up from the water and hit her square in the chest. She fell back to save herself from falling overboard.”

{quoted}

Exhausted, she knew that she would have won the envy of the other fisherman - and she would have fed the village for a week! But when she looked over - her fishing companion held upon his lap an even bigger fish. She had heard stories of such a fish - but it almost obscured his whole boat, it was so fat and shiny.

I’m kinda :\ about the hearing stories of such a fish part, although maybe that’s just my increasingly snarky attitude toward that “the Shadow Isles: some say they DON’T EXIST!” trend in recent Riot lore, where everything’s a mysterious, noncomittal “story”.

{quoted}

My grandmother, stubborn as all grandmothers eventually are,

Ha! This is gold.

{quoted}

would not have this! Though the sun was down she called out to the fisherman and challenged him! The next thing they caught, she said, whoever had the biggest catch would be the winner and must claim the other the superior fisher!

Okay. No more exclamation marks for you. :3 This is an intervention.

{quoted}

Every time she told us this story, his reply was different. Sometimes he said “I accept your challenge, pretty girl!” Other times he said “You are courageous and I will match your skill with honor!” When I asked her about this, as a child, she eventually told me she could never remember the words he used - only that she was sure he was pleased with her challenge and had accepted.

Nice meta-touch, with a subtle allusion to Bard’s magical nature. Reminds me of those translation-device tropes about realizing that someone’s speaking a language you don’t understand, but you know exactly what they mean.


Looks like I hit the comment length limit. :\

The rest is here.

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terkmc7/14/2015, 11:12:18 PM2 votes

MEANWHILE IN THE BARREN LAND OF LORE TEAM:

Variks the Loyal7/14/2015, 4:37:13 PM2 votes

This was a really cool read! Since it's a folktale, I hope some of the other Rioters on the narrative team read it and make it canon. It would be awesome to have a book of Runeterra folklore, some tales about Bard, some about Braum, some about Ao Shin, and others. Really good job :D

A Superb Villain7/14/2015, 6:49:05 PM2 votes

I like it quite a bit. You have done a nice job constructing a small but interesting setting. The simple subject of fishing, and connecting it to something so fabulous as fishing up the moon's reflection or the spirit of spring, is handled nicely. The story starts out so mundane, yet transitions into a tale of mythic proportions.

I am not sure if this was your intent, but I like the air of ambiguity; yes, the grandmother fished up spring, but Bard's sudden and unexpected appearance suggests there was something more in that box. Perhaps the Cosmic Caretaker only managed to arrive just in time to prevent serious damage. Turning Winter into Spring demands a lot of heat and energy, you know.

2nd Fiddle7/18/2015, 2:39:45 AM2 votes

I always love a good fairy tale.

52847732_DEL7/14/2015, 5:32:44 PM2 votes

{quoted}

Every time she told us this story, his reply was different. Sometimes he said “I accept your challenge, pretty girl!” Other times he said “You are courageous and I will match your skill with honor!” When I asked her about this, as a child, she eventually told me she could never remember the words he used - only that she was sure he was pleased with her challenge and had accepted.

I really loved how you used the child and the Grandmother's dialogue to indirectly reveal more descriptions about Bard while adding a bit of mystery.

How you wrote the story also reminds me of The Joy Luck Club.

I also like the music a lot too.