Bard Patrols the LCS
Bard wasted no time asserting his authority in the 2015 Summer Split of the LCS. Once he was ready for duty, players were finally able to bring him into the Rift, he strolled into the chaotic teamfight meta of Week 1 and declared himself the law.
And, of course, no one could argue with a man/spirit/godthing that uses musical blasts of light to arrest hooligans and enthrall adorable spirit meeps. So, he began his patrol.
Shots Fired
Bard made his first arrest in the LCS less than two minutes into his first patrol (a precinct record, thanks to Christoph "nRated" Seitz's aggressive moves). But Bard's first big assignment came 20 minutes later in SK Gaming's Week 1 loss to Fnatic.
Bouncy Bard was first on the scene to respond to reports of shots fired in the river. He promptly assessed the situation: these upstart Fnatic rabble rousers were killing crabs and littering the area with cheap wards and eyesore tunnels. As a god of... something musical, I think... Bard clearly could not let this stand.
He jumped into action, and threw out his Tempered Fate to pin down the entire gang, buying time for his reinforcements to arrive. Thankfully, his backup squad of Nidalee and Azir arrived promptly to rain down fiery death with spears, while the backup-backup squad (Maokai) teleported right behind them to keep them locked down.
Bard's recently transferred partner, Kalista, also showed up just in time to give him a high-five and throw him over a mountain (which is pretty darn impressive when you consider Bard's size). Our hero landed in the middle of the fight and began to dispense some righteous, musical beatings.
But even the best cops can't catch them all. And despite a good effort, most of the Fnatic ruffians escaped to cause trouble another day.
Raid Time
Bard may leave his lane partner behind to patrol the map, looking for chumps to dump, but Enemy Esport's Adam "Bodydrop" Krauthaker made sure that he was always there when his partners needed his light/musical power most in their Week 2 match against Team Dragon Knights. Bard always comes back for his partners. Even his crazy undercover-special-agent partner: the backdooring Irelia with absolutely no regard for her own safety.
When Irelia got caught dismantling an evil inhibitor all by herself, she called for help and Bard -- of course -- turned on the siren and smashed his way through the wall of the criminal compound.
Things looked bad at first. The dastardly Sejuani crashed right into the support crew as they arrived, killing Kalista instantly. But Officer Bard kept his cool. He shed a single tear for his fallen comrade, steeled his metaphorical jaw, and rushed into the fray.
He instantly covered his in-trouble special agent with Tempered Fate magical juju before throwing his body into harm's way to absorb the hits himself. While taking fire, he frantically hurled magical blasts of Cosmic Binding to disorient and knock out their surprisingly aggressive adversaries, like a true hero of the guard.
Bard made the soulless criminals that took Kalista away from him pay that day. He buried three of them and then dismantled their entire base as the crowd of onlookers began to cheer his name.
Bard! Bard! Bard! Bard!
Private Bodyguard
Bard is a clean cop, so you'd better believe that he refuses bribes and shady pay-off jobs. But the Wandering Caretaker still needs to supplement his meager chime-based income with the occasional private security gig.
In Week 3's showdown between Counter Logic Gaming and Gravity Gaming, a wealthy vineyard owner hired Zaqueri "Aphromoo" Black's Bard for a simple task: escort him and his lady friend through the jungle while they sampled the local flavors. But this happy tasting tour quickly turned into a nightmare.
A horrifying centaur and a surprisingly buff minotaur quickly flanked the group, keeping them trapped out in the open while a local prince strutted around monologuing about their eventual demise. Bard hurled his trusty lock-down binding at the prince, but it missed by several feet. Clearly, there was witchcraft at work.
Bard called for an immediate retreat from these sorcerous foes, and led the way back into the jungle. But whatever they expected to find there, it was not the giant 30-foot tall robot spewing flames that cut off their retreat!
Once again, Bard did not panic (and if he did, you wouldn't have been able to tell since he has no face). He kept calm, even when his foolhardy friends suddenly rushed backwards at the enemy with bloodthirsty cries.
He'd promised to keep these wild warriors safe, so the Wandering Caretaker unleashed his collective beasts in blasts of musical meeps and sacred shrines. When the dust settled, all of Bard's charges were safe and the bodies of two enemies laid at his fluffy feet. They were ready for a quick (magical) journey to get the heck out of there.
This was easily Bard's most successful patrol on the list, thanks to the unmatched skills of Aphormoo, the best Bard in the LCS with his undefeated 2-0 record on the champ!
Still on Patrol
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Bard was seen most often in Week 3 of the LCS, where he showed up in four different matches. And although he's occasionally barred from games by nervous teams that clearly have something to hide from this faceless supercop, he's constantly keeping an eye on things.
Bard's patrolling the Rift every week in the LCS, looking for lawless scumbags to bust. Watch your back, criminals.
Josh Augustine's favorite champion is obviously Bard, he's never enjoyed a Darius, and he will always go for the kill, even when he knows he shouldn't. He currently works as a game designer on EverQuest Next at Daybreak Games. He’d love to talk with you on Twitter.
